When the Demon in My Head Comes into my Bed – Part One
Moving is always a blessing and a curse. It’s the excitement of a new place, new beginnings, and possibilities! There’s also the stress of it all. The real challenge is the things you didn’t expect or prepare for. Like not realizing how alive and real the Demons that reside inside you are, or that new settings and situations can cause them to make their way to the surface of your consciousness.
Stress and new surroundings can do crazy things to our bodies and minds, but it’s hard to understand when suddenly the thoughts in the back of your head begin coming together. As they collect, something of a mist cumulates, slowly clouding my mind. When that fog in your mind begins taking shape though, that’s when the fear creeps in.
A figure takes place, clearly not an animal, yet too tall to be a man, still nothing more than a shape lurking in the shadows.
Losing myself in daydreams, my mind begging for sleep, the stress of life taking over. I can’t keep the pace and I’m paying the price. Dozing where I sit it’s like I can feel the fog rolling in, but it’s more than that. There’s a presence that comes with it, a certain fear. Although it doesn’t feel menacing, it doesn’t feel friendly either. Just there, waiting, like a heavy shadow lurking in the depths of my mind, constantly watching me.
I’ve always hated being alone and now as I sit, in the quiet, the dark, I can feel it, feel him. He fades in and out of my mind, letting me know he’s always there, but never fully present. Even though he brings a fear it’s like he’s trying to comfort me as well. Reminding me I’m not alone. He is always with me, yes, He, I finally realize the mysterious misty figure is a male. Somehow I can just feel it, I know without actually knowing.
The Demon that lurks in my head has somehow formulated into something real. I feel him here with me. When my mind fades in and out I can hear him whispering in my ear. He tells me I’ll never be alone again, I’ll always have someone with me for as long as he’s around.
Then I feel a set of lips graze my ear and neck, a cold rush of air stands my hair on end.
Coming out of my daze I look around crossing my arms to the chill in the room. This house has such weird cold spots. I think to myself that I need to kick the heat up and another thought appears telling me turning up the heat won’t work because He’ll still be there and He brings the chill.
Then he whispers that he’ll leave me alone to take the chill away. but if I allow him to He’d rather warm me up tonight in my sleep. I start to ask what that means and suddenly for the first time in a while, He’s gone. Leaving me wanting and wondering.
That night was quiet, like an immediate change when the mist from his chill subsided, but my Demon was still there. I thought he was gone, but I realized he just crept back into the shadows. He was helping the cold and fog subside. It was the first time in a long time I felt clear. The stress and sadness faded like he temporarily took it all with him.
This Demon that haunted me was also helping me, like my own white knight, just from the other side. Why did the figure that wasn’t really menacing still appear to me as a Demon? As something, I feared when he gave no reason to cause fear. His form and the figure he appeared as was merely that, a figure. Then He slowly began to transform in my mind.
Not how I saw him, but how I perceived him. My Personal Demon was slowly becoming my deepest desire.
I went to bed feeling him lie in waiting, deep in the shadows. Watching me. All I wanted was for his fog to come back, to cloud my mind and help blanket me in the daze of sleep, but he wouldn’t. I could feel something pushing into my consciousness and another thought appeared.
When I come to you in your sleep tonight you will be clear of mind. You will accept me as I am and allow me willingly into your bed, or I will not come. Again, He was gone. That thought, just knowing he was going to come to me in my sleep, caused such a deep excitement. My mind kept wandering over what he meant by allowing him into my bed.
If you like this story you should read my Pyrophiliac dream blog.
Really want to enjoy it get the Audio and HEAR my fear and pleasure.