A church was no place to keep secrets. He above knew what I had done. What I had let happen. It was time for my punishment. Knowing the preacher was just on the other side of the partition I blushed.
“I drank too much and had gone outside for some fresh air. That’s when he showed up at the balcony beside me. I’d seen him at a couple other work parties but I had never noticed him really before. He had tried to hit on me and I told him I was married. He seemed to respect it. Then he said maybe I needed a big bad wolf in my life.
I was stupid and joked back ‘no thanks, I don’t want to be bit by some dog’. Turning away from him to show I was done with our conversation. That’s when it happened. Oh father I can’t get it out of my mind. I felt him come up behind me and press himself against me. I should have moved away. His arms going around to either side of me, his hands on the railing trapping me.
He said maybe I’d enjoy it. At that I laughed at him and told him not likely.
That’s when he did it. He bit me father.” What a thing to say to a priest.
As I said this sitting in the confessional in church in the uncomfortable seat like a pew I couldn’t believe it but I was wet. Barely thinking it kept leaving me this way.
“ I did not want this I was not looking for it. Please I don’t want to be a wanton woman.”
He asked if anything further had happened.
“No, when I said not likely he leaned down and bit down on my shoulder. He bit down so hard it left a mark I’ve had to cover.”
At this the father said it sounded like I was assaulted so it is not my sin to carry.
I wish that was true. It was the thoughts I’ve had ever since that was my sin. In the end he told me that I had a penance of so many hail Marys and our fathers for having not told my husband. As I left the confessional I looked around the church. The same guy was still there and I wondered what he had done to have this length of prayer. The pews were mostly empty as I kneeled in one by myself. I closed my eyes and started reciting the Hail Mary I couldn’t help but add 20 more to my penance kneeling in front of the pew in this church then the priest gave me.
Knowing this would be a daily penance also. I couldn’t help it. Craving that feeling again. I didn’t want to be a wanton woman but just the thought of teeth on me again made me shiver. What a confession.
Needing to figure out how to get my husband to maybe consider it. Just missionary wasn’t cutting it anymore. I needed more. Needed the feel of his teeth in my skin. I prayed there at that moment for absolution but I knew that it wasn’t enough to keep this desire from running over me.
really hope you enjoyed part 2. you should purchase my audio where you’ll get to hear all the juicy details.
If you like this story you should check out my previous blog Pregnancy can be fun.