I showed up at the church and waited my turn for confession. At one point I considered lying to the preacher but I never had before now. I thought I was a proper wife and mother. I thought the small pleasures I got in bed were all there was it it. Oh but I thought wrong.

The only issue with it wasn’t my husband that showed me. No, it was someone I hardly knew. Shameful to admit to a priest. We had not gone all the way but now I craved more. I had for days. Unable to get the thought of his teeth biting my shoulder out of my mind. 

I should not be craving more. Yet I desired it so bad I could taste it. I wanted to explore. To feel more like a woman that I ever had before. As I sat waiting I knew I needed to let this out. These desires that had suddenly found me. Just thinking back to what had happened I felt myself get wet in the pew. 

In a church! How could I be so low as to feel this here? Looking up at the few others that were sitting in pews I felt like I could feel their judgment. Looking down I pulled out my rosary and tried to focus my prayers. Five minutes of that and I felt like I was back under control. Then I heard the confessional door open and a man leaving before going to the back of the pews and kneeling to do his penice. 

I wondered how many Hail Marys and Our Fathers I might get here at church for these impure thoughts. For letting another man near enough to tempt me. Finishing reciting my prayers in the quiet church as I moved the beads between my fingers I heard the doors open again. Nervous I stand up and make my way to it. Going in I started.

“Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been a week since my last confession.”

At this the priest asked me what sins I had to confess.

“Father I have recently let another man touch me. I am a married woman and have never had impure thoughts outside my marriage. I had been at a party with some of my friends. My husband was working late so it was just me. I had some to drink and I just, oh I can’t possibly go on.”

As he recited I was in a safe space in this church I had to talk a calming breath. Just thinking about what had happened I felt myself getting damp again. How shameful of a woman was I to be getting wet in a church. That was for a wanton woman not me. Oh what had he done to me. Taking a deep breath I listened to the father ask me what specifically had I done to consider adultery one of my sins today. 

I had to get this out no matter how shameful. I needed to confess my sins to the priest and maybe I would stop craving what he had done to me. Maybe I’d stop craving the feeling of his teeth bruising my skin as he’d bit down on my shoulder.

really hope you enjoyed part 1 . To hear the rest of the yummy details  you should purchase my audio where you’ll get to hear all the juicy details.

If you like this story you should check out my previous blog Pregnancy can be fun.

 
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